Do drugs *really* make everything better?

As many of you probably know, I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In fact, I think I've probably mentioned it on here before. What you may not know is that I suffer from a much worse case than many of my other cysters. While many women can live a fairly normal life, and may not even know they have it until dealing with infertility, I cannot.

For the past 3 months or so I've been dealing with a particularly bad episode. My hormones are all out of wack and I am in constant pain. There's really not much they can do other than give me pain medication and put me back on HBC. The HBC can take up to 3 months to work, if it works at all. I may need to switch to a new brand after 3 months (it has been 2 with this one). So, I just stay drugged up 24/7. And if I miss a dose or take it too late the consequences are quite dire. Quite a bit of the time Josh has to bring it to me in bed as I'm in too much pain to get it myself.

Lately it has actually been getting worse. Even after taking one pill I am still in a large amount of pain. The other day I actually passed out for a few seconds (or minutes? I'm not sure I was passed out lol) from the pain. So I have to get even *more* drugged up.

What is the point of me writing all this? Well I am not myself when I am drugged up. I obviously can't drive, so I've been holed up in the house. I haven't been able to work, either. I haven't officially quit not have I been fired but at this point I'm not holding out hope that my job will still be there when I get better. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I have also become even more antisocial than normal. I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody in person because I'm not myself and that embarrasses me. My sister's wedding is coming up (and associated parties) and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that. I'm supposed to be in the darn thing and she's going to have these pictures for the rest of her life. I don't want to ruin them.

Basically my point is if you see me acting like a fool and talking funny, it's not my fault. If you see me crying in pain, give me a hug. I could use one.

Teal is the color for PCOS (and Ovarian Cancer) support. The image above is from [here], where you can buy PCOS support ribbons, postcards, pillows, and other paraphernalia. This one is my favorite and I would love to have it if it's wasn't for that whole not working thing.

What a Sad, Sad Day

Yesterday my wonderful husband went to the store for me since I have been unable to for the past like three weeks or something dumb like that. He got me my favorite things ever - Walmart brand hamburger dill pickle chips.

[source]

As I was picking them up off the counter to put into the fridge the unthinkable happened. CRASH! There goes all my lovely, delicious, pickles on to the floor.... If it wasn't for all the tiny pieces of glass I might have been tempted to find the ones who weren't touching the floor and save them. =(

Thankfully no one was hurt - not even a scratch. But even better than that my fantastical husby had been wise enough to get more than one jar of pickles. =D

Happy Birthday to some very special people.

Instead of writing several posts for everyone, I'm just going to combine my birthday well-wishing into this one post for everyone who was born in February.

First I would like to wish a very happy birthday to my favorite little sister, Sierra Maggie. She turned 12 on the 8th. It's odd thinking that she is now older than I was when she was born. I was terribly upset when I found out I would no longer be the baby, but now I can't imagine my life without you.

Next is my husband Josh's 25th birthday, which was yesterday (the 11th). I would like to thank him for saving me from my fate of turning into an old cat lady. Now the only place I have cats in the double digits is in the Facebook app Happy Pets. XD I love you whole bunches!

Then there is the lovely Jessica, whom I have known and loved since 3rd grade. Are we to the age where it is no longer proper to say what our age is yet? I'll just say that she will celebrate the 2nd anniversary of her 21st birthday on the 18th :P Only 38 days and 10 hours until I can get you your birthday present! (the website did the calculating, not me. I'm not that much of a nerd lol)

And finally we have Rebecca, my adopted band-mother, whose birthday is on the 26th. I don't get to see Skittles as often as I would like now that she lives in Tally, but she will always be important to me. I got you a present while in Mexico, so please let me know if you will be in town for your birthday!

These four people are partly responsible for making me the person I am today, so I am immensely grateful to their parents for spawning them.

Love Languages

I've heard a lot about Gary Chapman's "Love Languages" books, so while we were at the Goodwill bookstore I picked up a copy for $4. I haven't read it yet, but am looking forward to it. Josh and I have already taken the quiz and this is how we came out:

Josh

10 - Words of Affirmation

"Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten."

07 - Physical Touch

06 - Quality Time

05 - Acts of Service

02 - Receiving Gifts

Me

10 - Quality Time

"In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there–with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby–makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."

10 - Physical touch

06 - Acts of Service

03 - Words of Affirmation

01 - Receiving Gifts

We both scored high on Physical Touch, "This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive." and we both scored low on Receiving Gifts, which is probably a good thing considering how poor we are. XD

Mine seem pretty obvious since I luuuuvs to cuddle and always ask Josh to spend quality time with me. At first I was surprised to see Josh score so high on Words of Affirmation, but now that I've thought about it it makes tons of sense. I can't see it so much in how he reacts to words of affirmation from me, as much as how he uses them to show me he loves me. From the tiny bit I've read in the book it seems we tend to show others love in the way it means the most to us.

Anyway it seems really interesting. Josh and I aren't struggling in our marriage by any means, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't use any available resource to make it even better.

What is family?

This semester I'm taking a class on the sociology of marriage and families. Our first assignment is a discussion on the following questions:

1. Find a definition of “family” embedded in a social policy, program, or law. The definition may be implicit rather than explicit. To give you just a few examples, what relationships are considered “family” in our federal law providing employment leaves to care for family members (i.e., The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993)? Which family members could be included in your health insurance “family” or “spouse” policy? Which family members could join under your “family membership” at the YMCA?

2. If you were creating a definition of family, what would it be? Would it be consistent with the definition you found for Question 1 or not? What criteria would you use in determining whether a particular relationship should count as a family relationship? For example, would DNA play a role? Legal contracts, like marriage or adoption? Emotional investment? Identity as a family? Length of relationship? Living arrangements? Other criteria? Which criteria are most important, and why? In developing your definition, be sure to consider how it will treat relationships that have tended to be inconsistently viewed – like cohabiting couples, gay families, and stepfamilies.

I haven't looked up the answer to question one yet, but I know that for me it would be too narrow. In the large scheme of things I think anyone who thinks of themselves as a family, is a family. However I also think the definition that matters to most (as far as legislation goes) would be immediate family rather than just family. My best guess at this point of an adequate definition of immediate family would be those who share your household and have an intimate (but not necessarily sexual) relationship with you.

This could be your "normal" family of mom, dad, kids. Or it could be one parent with kids, two married adults without kids, one parent a step parent and kids, etc. BUT it would also include those are aren't normally included when it comes to such things like health insurance currently. Co-habiting couples of any sexuality, your more traditional family and your sick dependent aunt, you and your best friend who have a very close but completely platonic relationship, etc.

What do you think qualifies as a family?

P.S. The picture is of my family, as well as some friends at my cousin's birthday dinner.

We are such nerds XD

DH and I are off of school and work all next week (we both work at the school). So what are we doing? I'm getting a head start reading one of my textbooks for next term and he's watching a documentary on the Appalachian Trail. Learning is fun. =)

Yes, I know my birthday was in March, but...

Along with my mother's graduation, there are two other big events this weekend. First is my very belated birthday party taking place tomorrow night. Yes, my birthday was in March, what of it? I've been struggling with various health issues since then. My body has just now decided it would do what it is supposed to for once. So yay me! We just got Rock Band 2 for the Wii off craigslist (the whole set - drums, guitar, mic, and game - for only $50!) so we'll probably be playing some of that. As you can see by my lovely camera phone picture of the TV screen, I've already decked out my character in nerdy goodness. I seriously want to go as her for Halloween (or maybe Angel, you know I love me some zebra print).

Then on Sunday is Mother's Day! Whooo! Mom, Sierra, Felicia, Josh, and I are all going to see Iron Man 2 and then going to lunch. I had told my mother I was getting her some new mixing bowls as well, but when we found out we would not be getting our school money until June that kinda put a stop to that idea. Should I get the job at B-A-M I'll get them then. What is everyone else doing for Mother's Day?

Congratulations are in order!

Today my wonderful mother will graduate from Gulf Coast Community College, receiving her AA degree (technically she graduated in December, but they only have one ceremony). This might not seem like a big deal to everyone, but it's a huge step for her. She dropped out of the 9th grade to work for her father, then married my sociopathic father, had 2 of 3 children, and never worked again. Through my father's abuse she was taught to believe that she wasn't able to have, wasn't worth, a life other than the sad one he provided for her and us girls. This is just the first step of many to prove how wrong he was. So congrats Mom! You deserve it.

Bag of cheetos on my left and a rockstar on my right

My little sister (Sierra) has been playing WoW over at our dad's recently. She had my older sister (Felicia) make her a temporary account so she could play here, but it only lasts for like nine days or something. After that is over my mom is thinking of maybe getting her a subscription. Since Josh and I both have the expansions linked to our accounts she's probably just going to re-open one of ours so she doesn't have to buy the xpacs. I'm not sure that's such a good idea...

I hate Blizzard, I really do. But I miss playing. :( I know if Mom opens my account back up I'm going to start back even if I don't want to. I mean as long as she's paying for it, there's no harm right? I'm not paying any more money into the company that has stopped caring about it's costumer base. Meh.

I just wish The Old Republic would come out already. They care about lore. They aren't catering to the 11-year-olds who just want to get to 80 as fast as possible with no regard to story-line. Unfortunately SWTOR isn't scheduled to come out till next spring. Not sure I can quell my spell-casting urge that long.

Happy Birthday to me!

The 6th was my 22nd birthday, which is a rather uneventful year. You can't do anything new. Overall it was a good day though.

In the morning I had to go to a doctor's appointment in Fort Walton which is where my sister recently moved to. We decided to stop by and see the new place afterwards. On the way we got lost and ended up near some sort of military base. They had a housing community called "Commando Village" with armed guards and stuff, which was kinda funny to see.

We did finally make it to Felicia's though to eat brownies and play Lego Rock Band. I've got epic drum skills when playing super easy. :D

Then I came home and went to sleep. I've pretty much been sleeping ever since lol. Thank goodness it's Spring Break!