As many of you probably know, I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In fact, I think I've probably mentioned it on here before. What you may not know is that I suffer from a much worse case than many of my other cysters. While many women can live a fairly normal life, and may not even know they have it until dealing with infertility, I cannot. For the past 3 months or so I've been dealing with a particularly bad episode. My hormones are all out of wack and I am in constant pain. There's really not much they can do other than give me pain medication and put me back on HBC. The HBC can take up to 3 months to work, if it works at all. I may need to switch to a new brand after 3 months (it has been 2 with this one). So, I just stay drugged up 24/7. And if I miss a dose or take it too late the consequences are quite dire. Quite a bit of the time Josh has to bring it to me in bed as I'm in too much pain to get it myself.
Lately it has actually been getting worse. Even after taking one pill I am still in a large amount of pain. The other day I actually passed out for a few seconds (or minutes? I'm not sure I was passed out lol) from the pain. So I have to get even *more* drugged up.
What is the point of me writing all this? Well I am not myself when I am drugged up. I obviously can't drive, so I've been holed up in the house. I haven't been able to work, either. I haven't officially quit not have I been fired but at this point I'm not holding out hope that my job will still be there when I get better. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I have also become even more antisocial than normal. I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody in person because I'm not myself and that embarrasses me. My sister's wedding is coming up (and associated parties) and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that. I'm supposed to be in the darn thing and she's going to have these pictures for the rest of her life. I don't want to ruin them.
Basically my point is if you see me acting like a fool and talking funny, it's not my fault. If you see me crying in pain, give me a hug. I could use one.
